Sometimes death comes suddenly and other times we know that our time is near. Death eventually comes to us all and whether it feels near or a way off in the future, there are a myriad of things you can do to prepare and much support and resources available to you.
Planning for Death/ End of Life
There are a number of practical things that you can put in place:
Legal Matters – Making a Will and Power of Attorney
Death Planning – making choices and creating a plan for your loved ones to follow on how you would like your body to be cared for after death, what you would like your funeral to include or maybe you do not want a funeral service.
These forms of planning make it easier for your loved ones so they know your wishes and don’t have to make decisions amidst their grieving. It also ensures that your wishes can be honoured
Preparing for a Good Death
Mentally and emotionally making sure you are ready and at peace with death
Attending to matters on an emotional level – making peace with others, forgiving yourself, coming to peace or clearing any regrets
Spiritually preparing to cross the threshold to the otherworld/afterlife or other realm that accords with your beliefs
As an End of Life Companion I am here to support you and your loved ones as the great threshold of death approaches.
One to one sessions – I can help and support you with the preparing for a good death, one of life’s greatest rites of passage
End of Life – I can provide support for you and your loved ones when the time to cross the threshold comes
I can support your loved ones through their bereavement
Bereavement and Grief
My journey with grief started at a very early age when I found my beloved cat Jupiter who had been hit by a car, I was 7 years old. When I 10 years old my father died suddenly aged 28, this was a huge devastation that I was ill equipped to process at the time. When I was 19 I found my grandmother dead in bed, she was only 59. These were all quite shocking and sudden experiences. Since then my closest grandparents and guardians have transitioned however they were well into old age and there was a degree of emotional preparation for their passing which wasn’t present with my other loved ones. With my Mum there was a terminal diagnosis which allowed me a really good look at all faces of anticipatory grief and all that goes with that. However, no matter how much we emotionally prepare, grief is a process that can surprise you at any time.
Navigating grief is a rite of passage in itself. Whilst there are several stages to grief, the process itself is not linear in time. Grief is not something to get over, it is an experience that we navigate through, in our own time.
” Grief is just love with nowhere to go” – Jamie Anderson
In this context, there are ways in which we can navigate grief less painfully by transforming the pain into love. Finding ways to connect with our loved ones even though they have shed their human form.
We can also honour our loved ones by living our life to the fullest on their behalf.
There are many sources of help and support for bereavement available and I am honoured to be one of them.
How I can support:
One to one sessions to help you navigate your grief and your emotions
One to One sessions to hold space for you to talk
Small group grief and bereavement circles where you can come together with others who are missing their loved ones
Grief walk and talk sessions – one to one or in a small group
Other Services
Let’s talk about Death – group conversation circles facilitated by me where we talk about all aspects of death, dying and grief
Volunteer end of life companion for NODA – No One Dies Alone Ayrshire – www.nodaa.org.uk
Volunteer member of Pushing up the Daisies, providing information and support for the days between the last breath and the funeral, known as the Daisy Days – www.pushingupthedaisies.org.uk
I am also a community member of Soul Midwives Scotland
My End of Life Training:
I have first hand experience in all aspects of the diagnosis to death process having supported, cared for and helped my Mum transition. I did not know everything then that I know now, I had to learn while we were going through the process. That experience led me to learning more about the stages of death and what to expect with greater understanding through various training programmes. At that time I had the spiritual, emotional and mental awareness plus companioning skills but not have the awareness around the physical aspects of dying.
Spiritual Companions Trust – I have been a Spiritual Companion since 2009. I am certified in Professional Practice in Spiritual Studies and Companionship / Diploma in Spiritual Coaching and Caregiving
End of Life Care training, Gentle Dying, Sacred Anointing for the Dying – Felicity Warner Soul Midwives UK
End of Life Doula training – Suzanne O’Brien, Doulagivers Institute
A Shamanic Approach to Death and Dying with Sandra Ingerman
After the Last Breath course with Pushing up the Daisies
End of Life Skills with Palliative Care Scotland
Grief Training with Grief Guides
Yoga and Palliative Care
